I loved this forwarded mail.. I had a good laugh when I was so tensed up with my work here. So I wanted to share the joy and laughter with you… Go on and read the whole thing.
Q: Does it ever get windy in India? I have never seen it rain on TV, how do the plants grow? (UK).
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around watching them die.
Q: Will I be able to see elephants in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you’ve been drinking.
Q: Iwant to walk from Delhi to Goa – can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it’s only three thousand kms, take lots of water.
Q:Is it safe to run around in the bushes in India? (Sweden)
A: So it’s true what they say about Swedes.
Q:Are there any ATMs India? Can you send me a list of them in Delhi, Chennai, Calcutta and Bangalore?(UK)
A: What did your last slave die of?
Q:Can you give me some information about hippo racing in India? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. In-di-a is that big triangle in the middle of the Pacific & Indian Ocean which does not.. oh forget it. …… Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Goa. Come naked.
Q:Which direction is North in India? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees. Contact us when you get here and we’ll send the rest of the directions.
Q:Can I bring cutlery into India? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.
Q:Can you send me the Indiana Pacers matches’ schedule? (France)
A: Indiana is a state in the Unites States of…oh forget it. Sure, the Indiana Pacers matches are played every Tues day night in Goa , straight after the hippo races. Come naked.
A: You’re a British politician, right?
Q:Are there supermarkets in Bangalore, and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.
Q: Please send a list of all doctors in India who can dispense rattlesnake serum. (USA)
A: Rattlesnakes live in A-meri-ca which is where YOU come from. All Indian snakes are perfectly harmless, can be safely handled and make good pets.
Q:Do you have perfume in India? (France)
A: No, WE don’t stink in India.
Q:I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in India? (USA)
A: Anywhere significant numbers of Americans gather.
Q:Do you celebrate Christmas in India? (France)
A: Only at Christmas.
Q:Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first
A: As long as you are not blind, you can see it anytime day and night.
Q:Do you have Toilet paper? (USA)
A: No, we use sand paper. (We have different grades)