Friendships day 7.8.2011

There are still some who make life living. Like mothers, babies and friends! The last, being the most likely to make that happen. Perhaps it all began when Adam was lost in the world called ‘Paradise’. When Eve found out the person she was going to find company in, she wasn’t sure what name she’d put to this newfound company. I think all of us innately can never put any definitive name to ‘friendship’. Its one feeling of togetherness that can never stand in comparison to another relation in the world!

Friends for Life

While there are some things that remain constant in life, like love and marriage, taxes and cranky husbands, so is friendship! The only difference is that friends live on for a lifetime! Amidst crises, small and big, blood relations somehow come in the last lap of the scenario. Every woman needs a friend because friends make life worth living! It’s only friends who handle a mishap and mend a broken heart. Friends are the first to handle everything from celebrations to accidents to even domestic calamities. I think God made friends to make us life live the way we want.

They accept us the way we are and we on the other hand neglectfully handle. They are like the Almighty’s first impression while trotting on the path of life! While in school, we all learn to make friends and share parts of our life. But it is not always that we like to take the instructions off hand. We actually spend most of the time being within our world, with our own little selfish selves. With Teenage coming in and what seems like an era of identity crises galore, it is only friends who can actually understand what the ‘real’ feeling at the time is! Parents aside, its only natural to have a friend speak to you and impart that timely advise no other blood relation could ever convince you with.

It is no wonder that most politicians do not have as many friends as compared to the many advisors that thwart their way of accurate thinking! Man being the lonely animal that he is, it’s only natural to define any person associated with you to be first identified as a friend! Some food for thought Pal!

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>Talking about divorce…

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The hottest topic of the day being love and love marriages. I was quite curious to find out how many people in my class are really into love and love marriages since we were discussing about it. As usual the guys were all joking about it by saying that they would get married to a girl and then divorce her within in the next three months and then get going with another girl. Then this thing struck me, let me check about the divorce rates in India.Here is something I felt about it.

Marriages in different parts of the world are done differently.In olden days, tribal men kidnap girls from other tribes to marry them. In the western world, as we know it, they have the right to “choose” the person they prefer on the basis of love. In India, a common practices was arranged marriage. It is said that the divorce rate have a direct impact on the level of choosing their own spouse.i.e. Love marriages. And according the research, it is happened only in the recent times.

If you see the picture below, you will find that India, compared to all the other countries has the lowest divorce rate but is increasing certainly at a very high speed during the past decade.divorcerate1_1_1 Divorcerate2_2_1

Even though India still enjoys a low divorce rate, the rapid increase in the number of divorce petitions being filed in Indian courts is certainly a matter of concern. The Indian divorce rate is although the lowest in compared to the rest of the countries of the world, but the present marital scenario in India is likely under a threat. The very will to keep on with the sacred union even under numerous marital disputes and disparities has mellowed with time and transformation of ideologies.

And if you trace out the reasons for these divorces, you will find that the blame has been placed on the women empowerment, the literacy rate and the financial independency.

  • Lets look at the reasons for the increasing rate of divorces in India:
  • 1. Earlier when the women divorced she was faced with social criticisms. They believed that the parents would not accept them and think of them as a burden. But times are changing now. The parents feel and understood the fact that it is not the end of the daughter’s life if she was divorced.
  • 2. Due to factors such as Globalization and IT boom, the social life has become faster. The couples aren’t spending enough times with each other and also in this fast paced world nobody is bothered about social ill- effects or rather not effect the glare of the society.
  • 3. With the advent of women education, they are not anymore depend on the men for their financial needs. Therefore, she doesn’t have to anymore stand the abuse and harass made by the men. She can get out of it and get on with her life on her own or as well as the kids, if any.
  • But are these the only reason why we are moving into the different
  • pace, and don’t you think that the above mentioned reasons are fair
  • enough and logical for the betterment of the better half, WOMEN.
  • PS: I am not being bias here. I still believe that there are some real men who take care of their wives as if they were Queen and Hats off to you all.. This post is dedicated to my dad because he belongs to that category.

>The Dream of a Dog

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This is a story given written by my friend Sriram.. This is for you to read… Please give me your comments on it.
Mr. Chris Wardwell a famous doctor -My boss
     He is well known by all. I too know about him a little more. It’s  really hard for anyone to cope up with people having different mindsets. But, my boss does the job very easily.
       He is adorable. Being a doctor, he did many things to his profession and at the same time he kept one of his eyes on me. I will be sitting near a big clock, which occupies half part in his bedroom.
       He got that clock from Elizabeth Sansow as a token of love.
My eyes will be waiting for the “Big rod” in the clock to stand straight and the “Small rod” to retain three steps behind from the “Big rod” (9.00pm)
       And it’s time for him to fondle me and it will make my tail to move ‘to and fro’ He goes for sleep if the ‘small rod’ in the clock moves to the next place.
       So, my qualm hates the clock because it limits his time with me. I want him for the whole day.
(25.10.2006) Two incident made this day unforgettable.
First Incident:
        My Boss birthday…….Outside garden is filled with cars and my eyes also found colourful pairs of foot wears and thus it made me to conclude it as a grand function. I decided to sing a birthday song for him so, I was murmuring.
                             “Hoo..Hoo…. Hooooooo”
        I was too busy in that party. My tongue tasted delicious foods. I felt very tired and my bed invited me for a snooze. The speed of my walk became slow and I just crawled.
Second Incident:-
       I slowly got into dream. It was a surprise dream. I dreamt myself becoming a (8 years old boy) with strange habits.
Usually, it’s natural to fumble while choosing the best among alternative. But, I am exception to this.
      I would not struggle and I will simply do that with the help of single coin.
      Yes…  I use to toss the coin to choose the alternative but I will do the opposite effect.
                 ‘Craig’ a lady called.
      Then, I recognized that’s me and that lady my mom “Yancy”. Later I came to know about two more pillars which hangs my family..
      One is the head of the family my papu. “David Krintzman” and other is my loving sister “Laura”.
     One day I was not doing my homework….If I go to school I will be getting punishment from my teacher.
      No problem, if I remain in home.
There were two alternatives
     So for the first time, I made use of the coin….I was ready to toss. I closed my eyes and I assigned the alternatives in the coin.
       “If it is head i should go to school and if it is tail I can remain in home”.
Then I threw the coin.
         Fortunately, it was tail, I stayed in home and I did the opposite effect.(i.e) I asked my mom to punish me. At evening, I met my dudes and they called me for play. But, mom suggested me to do the pending home works. Once again they made me to use the coin.
                       ‘Coin favoured play’
          As usual, I did the opposite effect. I went to playground but, I did homework by sitting on the green floor.
Years went fast.
           I got my degree and also call for interview from a big concern. I appeared for the interview. There were two persons sitting before me. At first, I introduced myself and I showed my certificates. Then, they gave me a riddle; I successfully finished that with the help of a coin and got placement with decent salary package.
           I thought my habit of tossing the coin helped me. I did many things with the help of coin. Many friends and relatives tried their level best to stop me doing this habit.. But, they failed. I didn’t listen to them.
          I got good colleagues. We had small chats during the free time. One of my colleagues is ‘Maya’. I love her very much. One day I decided to disclose everything to her and at the same time i was a little bit worried about the result. There happened a big battle between my heart and mind. Whether to propose by myself or through the M.D’s daughter ‘Julie’ who is a common friend for both of us. My mind threatened me about the result and also suggested me to move with the help of ‘Julie’. But, my heart opposed this. I sought the help of the coin.
                       “ Heart won the toss”
          I went to ‘Maya’ and said I am in love with the M.D’s daughter ‘Julie’. This spread like a fire and my M.D punished me. Due to this, I lost love, friendship, job and also my hope. I absconded from that place and made myself alone. I became pauper.
          I felt, the doors of the ‘Heaven’ were waiting for me. I decided not to live.
         Again there was an alternative one is to commit suicide by drinking poison and the other is to share everything with ‘Laura- my sister’.
                 “Coin went high in the air
         As per the suggestion given by the coin, I saw my sister. That was a blunder. Instead of sharing my sorrow, I gave poison to my sister. My parents thought she committed suicide but I know the truth and I was depressed. So, my parents confined me in to the bed in the form of treatment.
                       Then, migration took place.
         I went to many places for treatment. I didn’t recover from the tragedy. This incident made me feel guilty. I decided to put an end for this. So I have been thinking about my habit for days.
I took the coin and threw it for the purpose of toss, whether to have this habit of not.
Coin rotated frequently and few feet to know the result.
          ‘Marcus’ (dog name) a voice interrupted.
        I woke up. Sweating from the face of my boss made me to realise that, it was time for his ‘morning walk’ and I realised all that was just a dream but still I couldn’t recover from the dream and the myth…He provided ‘two’ flavours of pedigree for my breakfast.

     “I rushed towards his bedroom in search of coin.”



By
Sriram Senthamizhan

>Smiling @ strangers…

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andrew-super-smile

 

I was past the bridge on kotturpuram. Suddenly, I notice a woman walking past me with her baby. It must have been girl because of the charm and the looks of it. I was so touched when that baby girl who was half asleep woke up, just to give me a smile and then got back to her sleep.  I was thrilled. It gave me a great and refreshing look which I carried the whole day and passed on to all the people I met and made a difference in their day too..

Once small twinkle smile from a god-like-baby made my day as well as a few others whom I influence. No fights, no frowns, no anger, no sorrow… Just plain and simple happiness which kept me on the whole day. I dint even fall asleep during my 3 hrs class. Amazing, isn’t it? And all it took was just a smile. I loved it. So I plan to make the best of everyday. I smile and make others smile. This morning, I was in my car with my windows fully down and while passing through that same bridge, I was closely followed by a father who was taking his daughter to school. The girl had bandaged her hand. She must have met with an accident and was looking very miserable in that state. All I did was look @ her and smile. You should have seen how her face lit up. She was also smiling back at me and trying to wave to me forgetting that her hand was bandaged. Then I waved back at her and we went our ways. I really don’t know whether I’ll see her the next day too but one smiling girl made the difference. The power of smile. I love it and very thankful to all those people who smile and make other people’s day. After all, we ultimately want to  be happy by the end of the day.

PS: There is another reason why I smile at strangers. This is just between us. You also get to smile at all the cute, smart and handsome guys on the bike early in the morning… Haaaaaaa… So refreshing… Now that also makes your day….Don’t you think girls??? LOL

>Ending life

>Its hard to get away from life, easier to end life rather than face the agony, pain, sorrow or shame. Yes, all of us have to go through pain or sorrow @ some point of our life even the TATAs and BIRLAs have to face it. These are just a mile stone for us to grow using this. All failures are stepping stones to success. Someone, somewhere, knew that life isn’t about dying!!

I got a call from an old friend today!! She was crying when I picked up the call. I asked her what was the problem? She said that the guy she loved for more than 3 years has rejected her and married a rich girl. She was ashamed to face her parents since she was stubborn about marrying him all these years. She has been crying for the past one month, not going to office regularly or eating properly. All she could think about was DYING. She told me that she wanted to talk to me about this before she died. Little did she realize that I could get her out of it by the time the call was over. I thanked god for once for giving me the power of convincing her. It took me about 3 hours of talking. It was unbelievable how Love can change us. She was scared about the relationship which she had with him. They were intimate and sexually involved. I had to tell her that this was the end of everything. She was scared about her future and what would the husband think about her.. Obviously, all these thoughts clouded her like hell. Pavam. I pity her.. She was such a sensible person. So responsible about what she wanted to do in life yet when it came to love, she chose the wrong guy. I had to convince her that life has to go on. I made her promise that she wouldn’t try anything stupid again. I hope it doesn’t occur in her minds again.
In India, more than 1,00,000 people die due to suicide in a year which is a very sad thing.  Love, family pressure, loneliness, health issues, failures, loss, exams et all are some of the reason for people to suicide. Sneha, this is an NGO which is a suicide prevention helpline. It helps people to get out of these feeling of ending life. If these depressed people talk about their situation, they have 70% chance of getting out of the emotion. I volunteered once and I got a girl from a girl who was in her first year of college and she was devastated because some A** Hole harassed her sexually while travelling to a nearby place. Since that area was quite and no one around, he took advantage of her. Thank god, she dint get raped but she was very upset about it and this was killing her. No one to talk to. She could tell it to anyone. I cried while talking to her, so I gave the call to one of the seniors who handled her call and convinced her not to do anything stupid. When I still think about it, I start to get tears from my eyes. Its so bad, don’t you think. You can also volunteer to help bring life to another human. I did and I got the sense of satisfaction that none other activity in my life would give.
You can contact them through the website Sneha, or call up the number 044-2460050. Help bring back life.They are open 24hrs a day.

Happiness

Am I happy or sad today? If there is any sadness I make a strong effort to be free of it quickly, otherwise it grows like a vine in the rainy season: by midday I will be confused; by evening a whole jungle of weak, wasteful and negative attitudes will have taken deep roots in my mind. The result equals Chaos.

Sometimes I reach a stage where the attitude is: “ So what if I feel the blues today? It is my life; i can feel how I want to feel; no one else will be affected”. But this is not the case, when you are looking at life. Like for example: In my life, if I become sad for just a day, you will my whole family will not be happy. Its not because that they love me that much but I also feel that I’m that positive energy in the family which keeps them quite cheerful. I get up in the morning, smile @ my dad, get scolding from my mom for getting up late(with a smile, of course) and then fight with my sister for the bathroom which we share and of course rushing to college everyday. These activities in a day do not go without a smile in my face. Not only @ home, you will see that I have the loudest laugher in class. Everybody will look back to my place when we share a joke at college. Sometimes, when I’m stressed out or have any issues in my personal life. I will have people coming and asking me why I’m not laughing today. People I don’t even talk to everyday.

Firstly the more I allow myself to experience sorrow, the less time I have available to be happy and contented. It sounds ridiculously obvious, but am I aware of the value of happiness. It is an extremely rare commodity, and the cost goes sky high. Don’t you agree with me???

Secondly, is it my life? Yes. I am living it, but am I not a member of a family or a fellow student with others, and am I not part of society? If so, then every movement affects and is affected by those around me. We cannot be selfish all the time, can we??

Ps: This was to have thought provoking post!! Any thing wrong or you like it, please let me know.

Special Birthday to celebrate :)

This Post is exclusively dedicated to my friend Vinoth. Today, he is celebrating his 26th birthday!! ( Did I get that right ?) Yes, of course I know that you are older than me. LOL.

About him:
1. Makes me laugh till my stomach is about to fall off.
2. A true friend(genuinely)!!
3. Beautiful person with a lotsa good and little bad qualities.
4. Changed a lot for a person he loves truely and madly.
5. Stubborn to the core.
6. Kumar(his father) is so proud to have borne him.
7. Loves his family very much.
8. A vivid liar and makes other people think he was saying the truth. (liar, liar, pants on fire)
9. Never takes up anything easily and was utterly irresponsible and senseless some years ago..
10. Cute, funny and smart.
I’m proud to have you as a friend and you are very special to me which I know you know. Please stay like this. Never change even if you get married. LOL. Take care. At last, I forgot.
Happy birthday da.. You are something!! :):)